Posted by: @dwai

I think everyone we encounter in life is a teacher in some way or another. Can we let stuff go? Or do we have to react?

Huzzah.  The sage throws no one away.

The easiest way for me to recoup from an encounter like that is to remember that we are all One.  That irritating person is us.

The benefit of running into an irritating person is that it is a mirror into ourselves.  Granted, the fluffy dog thing doesn't seem to offer much of an example, but if you were upset over his fluffy dog attitude, then it sounds like there was another dynamic building up, and the fluffy dog comment was the last straw.  If you can find the real dynamic, then use it to your advantage and reverse it if necessary.  Usually just the awareness of an inner blockage (or remnant from childhood, etc) will start the process of it peeling away on its own.  But if the imprint is too deep, then I would strengthen the reverse imprint with a ceremony of some sort.  Something to set the reversal aside and make it stand out in your life.  Deep healings can be done from the discovery, awareness, and reversal (or removal) of these early imprints.

Boundaries are paramount to maintaining health within my own mind.  But those boundaries for me are never set in stone and are continually re-addressed as life unfolds.

I wouldn't, nor do I imagine anyone else can or should tell you where your boundaries lie.  I often don't know where my own boundaries lie they are until they've been crossed.

Some challenging folks I dearly appreciate, when their forms of challenge and annoyance do not stray into the abusive.  They ping my assumptions and poke me in ways that allow me to explore the areas of my habitual nature that without their presence, I may not become aware of...  these folks remind me of the 'obstinate brother' story. 

A monk about to travel to Tibet for a year or more, had heard so much of how enlightened, open and loving the people of Tibet were, requested that one of the most obstinate brothers of the order be tasked with traveling with him.  His thinking was that, without the constant pinging of annoyance, his process of awakening would diminish.  To him, the most challenging people are the most helpful in finding where within his own process his limits existed.

Once in Tibet, upon realizing that the people there, were as human as anywhere else... he released his obstinate brother to return to the monestary, his purpose no longer being required on the journey.

However...  the tone and timbre of the behavior is all for me.

There are people who come into my life, it seems, only to show me unequivocally that there are some people I cannot allow to remain in my life, if my life is to be loving, healthy and vital.  Some people I cannot allow to remain in my life.  Perhaps this is the limit of my compassion, or the revelation of my selfishness but I've come to terms with it.

As is the case in my own family.

We had to cut my wife's parents out of our lives completely... almost took out restraining orders on them.  Their systematic abuses came to light when my wife had long buried memories of childhood emerge.

Some folks challenge me in ways I can use as grist for the mill of my unfolding process of learning my True Nature.  Others are rabid mammals incapable of being trusted with the most basic of human decency.  The difference between them, lies in me and my reactions to them.

Our case is very extreme, abusive criminal behavior. 

Boundaries are a much more distinct part of my process now and when I reach them, I no longer fret and dally too long, I act and accept the limits of my process.  

Some folks ping my assumptions in beneficial ways... while there are others who come into my life only to to remind me that I cannot sleep next to a rabid dog.  If I wish to live healthy vitlal and loving, then there are some people that I cannot allow to remain in my life, or I am being complicit in my own abuse.

Posted by: @liminal_luke

 

Let´s see...an 18 year old ex-catholic homosexual that doesn´t like fluffy dogs?  Dump him immediately! 

I keep on thinking about this post I made, so I´ll circle back.  It´s just that I have something in common with your annoying friend and it´s not that I´m 18.  Was your friend sending unwanted sexual vibes your way?  That can get annoying, I know.  In our defense, cute guys with dharma wisdom are pretty irresistible.  Compassion please....even if from a (social) distance.

Posted by: @miroku

he finds it unable to accept his own inclinations and wants to run away from it as an ascetic or a monk is rather annoying. Don't get me wrong, it is a great aspiration to go full time as a dharma practitioner. It just should come from really wanting it and not from being ashamed that one preffers bananas and not peaches.

 

Very important and valid points. Dharma is not an excuse to run away from our demons. Dharma gives us the ability to stand boldly and face our demons. In any case, running away doesn't work, because as the old saying goes, "wherever you go, there you are" (and your demons go with you, that's why they're your demons) 😀