About the same as you describe. The entire situation is surreal. My life is less affected than many others -- over the past 7 years or so, I've been living a very reclusive lifestyle -- working from home, hardly go out for anything other than groceries and socializing with some friends over weekends.

But I can sense the chaos -- it is palpable, and depressing. Meanwhile in another part of the world, I have a close family member struggling with colon cancer, but unable to undergo treatment because everything is locked down due to covid-19. 🙁

People are struggling...so much so that I'm circumspect sharing words of support -- don't really know what to tell people who are really suffering. When people are suffering, unsolicited words of wisdom can be hurtful or even infuriating to them.

A safe place to speak with friends about matters of heart and practice 😎🤙🙏

We are dealing with two parents - one that just had cancer hopefully completely removed from his throat and another that has just received a stage 4 diagnosis and is about to deal with chemo and beyond.

This has split up our family dynamic - my wife and 12 year old son are down in Southern California for what will probably be months helping Tania’s mom through all of this. I am taking care of support up here for my father-in-law that is also on a feeding tube and relearning how to swallow.

I have the easier of the two jobs - Tania is having to take her mother to the hospital regularly at this point. In today’s environment this means walking past many many families outside the hospital - and a good portion of them are beyond themselves crying and lamenting extreme concerns for their loved ones who they are unable to visit.

My wife works at a well know medical facility and with her jacket on has no problem going in and out of the hospital - and in most cases would not have a problem assisting her mother in any case. But when she told me what it was like outside it came home to me in a much more real way.

On a synchronistic level her work asked her to work from home and our son’s school closed and they have switched to online so that made the logistical changes seamless.

We had a place in Hawaii that we used to do a good job in renting as Airbnb - I suggested we sell it immediately at a reasonable discount - it sold in one day - that was a big relief - the HOA was $967 a month. Originally we were going to rent it out long term but we could not deal with the possibility of our renters stopping their payments because of the virus. It is our opinion that Hawaii will be extremely hard hit and the repercussions will be felt for a considerable time.

We are also selling the home in SoCal - can’t see any scenario where waiting is a good idea - the area is pretty packed with Maga hat people so sales are still taking place as though this will all blow over - (it is also a commuting outlier area that while really growing, it is made up of service and support people and retired people).

That area got clobbered during the Bush Jr crash of 2008 and it will be clobbered again in our opinions.

I put up an extra boat I owned and just sold it less than an hour ago - expect to be able to buy boats for next to nothing in about 8 months.

Basically we went to cash on some things we were not too endeared to and are going into this with peace of mind - Tania’s job is not on the line and I have no concerns about me so we actually have considerable peace of mind financially, though we are by no means beyond the need for jobs and income.

Everywhere we go up in Northern Cal SF area it is more friendly than normal but for some the loss of jobs or the loss of a partners job shows in some peoples face. Guns and ammo comes up in some conversations from people I did not know had them. I have been surprised by just how many people think this will blow over quickly - it is good that they are still positive - in NY where I was born they are not thinking it will blow over quickly.

So many unseen things are taking place - unseen because we live in California - it is almost always one of the last places to feel a downturn. But quietly huge numbers move out, students go home, well paid dog walkers and hair salons can’t give away their services. Tons of waiters, movie set workers, musicians - they often leave the state and shelter in place at their parents homes. Contractors start selling their tools for pennies on the dollar, electricians, roofer.

Half the people interested in the boat I sold were intending to hang out an anchor and live off the hook because they lost their job - one was a roofer of 30 years.

Cleared because of a duplicate posting

Testing my ability to post...

Ahhh, Spotless' first words enticed me to take a deep breath, exhale, and settle into silence.

Like a field of Spring blossoms and a cool breeze smelling of dandelion...

Sitting down to a dinner of salad and eggplant ravioli, then a Zoom meditation session with some wonderful young friends in Charlottesville...

Will post more to the topic in a bit, such profound changes in my life.

And some things don't change so much.

Warm wishes to all!

Dupicate

Hi all...

In many ways, my daily life is not outwardly effected by the pandemic and yet I often find myself awash with emotion.  I´m struck by the power of this disease to turn us against each other.  What does it mean to see other people as potential "vectors" of illness just walking down the street, to be perceived that way by others?

I´m living in Ensenada, Mexico on the otherside of a semi-closed border with the US where my mom, brother, and most of my friends live.  At this point, I think I can still get back to the US if I need to, but it´s not so clear if I could then return to Mexico.  What if there´s an emergency and I need to return to the US?  What will I do if I can´t get back to Mexico?  My Mexican partner has a major mental illness and depends on me financially and emotionally. He´s not likely to do well if we´re separated for any length of time.

Before things really started to get bad I was in Palm Springs, sitting around a dining table with the four men who are my best friends, all of us on the more "mature" side (chronologically if not behaviorally), several of us with dreaded "underlying conditions."  I wondered whether this would be the last time we´d all be together.  Most likely we´ll meet up again in October; I still believe that.  Still, I´m increasingly aware of life´s fragility.  This could kill me.  It could kill people I love.  And yes, I know that any of us could die at any moment -- virus or no virus.  Theoretically.  Usually though, I´m a lot better at denial.

Hi everyone -

I had to do a DDJ 'nip it in the bud' thing today.  I think it takes a bit of courage to say something to someone and you know it's going to shake them up, but you've got to do it anyway?  Because if not to do it, it would mean unnecessary exposure to the virus.

I recently moved in a roommate to share my house, a couple months ago.  He's a retired hairdresser, in his 60's.  he's a lot of fun, I love having him around - great company.  But he was a little flippant about the lockdown thing, and has a regular bunch of friends within this community which he likes to visit on a daily basis.  Earlier today I said something about I didn't think we should go out any more than necessary.  He kind of snorted and blew me off, figuratively speaking.

So I didn't say anything at that time, and got to stewing about it - after all, it's affecting not only his life, but mine as well.  I guess he just wasn't thinking about that.  So I realized that if I didn't say something I was being a yellow bellied coward.  So we talked about it, very nicely.  And he did mellow and see the necessity to watch out for the both of us.  I don't know why stuff like that is so hard for me, but it is.  Confrontation.  But now I know that anything at all can be said, if only you say it with a smile.

Liminal Luke!  You were in Palm Springs??  That's where I live!  PLEASE let me know when you're coming to town some time.  Also, Joe and I had a house for 20 years down in La Jolla Beach Camp, just north of the blowhole - La Bufadora.  I'll bet you know that area well.   I was just telling someone today that the supermarkets looked like the stores in Baja.  No choices - just a choice of Cheerios or Wheaties.  Nothing but Bimbo Bread.  And 1-ply toilet paper.  Unless, of course, you're shopping at Gigante!

(No stinkin' emoticons?)

I offered to visit and get groceries for one of my sisters and was told no, my life style of taking walks and picking up groceries put me too far on the wild side.  She asked what kind of mask I was wearing?  I told her none, but was staying 6 feet away from people.  That did not sooth her.

My other sister doesn't get as much exercise as she could.  I called her this morning and asked if she wanted to go for a walk today.  She said, yes.  Then called a few minutes ago and said.  No, she couldn't risk it.  Too bad.  My wife and I are putting in 14 to 18,000 steps a day (today 16,242).  Long walks burn up the mental mess of all the nasty news.   My walking buddy is still willing though it seems like I have to drive to his place, he's not coming here.  A slight pain due to non-recipricality, but such is life.  Maybe they're smarter then me.

When I walk I've been listening to Call Sign Chaos by General Mattis.  Upfront guy discussing his life from 1940's childhood in Washington to marine life, to fighting bureaucracy in D.C.   Military biographies have been of interest to me lately.  My sons interesting in joining the Marines.  Technically he's off to Quantico for 6 weeks of early officer training/boot camp this summer.  Unknown if it'll happen.

I got nothing to complain about.  Spotless wins the Oh MY Freaking Lord award for the most hardship.  God bless and good luck.  You have so much on your plate.  If there's anything I can do.  Like a deep dish pizza for you and your son.. let me know.  Jews of Chicago know 2 things, suffering and where to find good pizza 🙂 .

<<Wrote this, hit Submit and it seemed gone.  I left the site, came back immediately and didn't seed the post I'd just written.  I assumed it was gone, but low and behold, 5 minutes later.. its alive, not lost to the ages.  So beware, there seems to be a strange lag between posting and having it show up.  Its late rather then gone>>

What a profound teaching of impermanence this experience is offering me!

I'm nostalgic for when I used to spend a little time trying to visualize my death and its effects.

Now it is a daily companion.

At first there was a very palpable fear, like a premonition, of illness, intubation, death.

So many emotions coming through me. I'm progressively becoming more accepting of the inevitability of death.

Its closeness and reality is making that reconciliation far more tangible.

I work in health care and was seeing a full load of patients until 2 weeks ago.

Our practice would not implement common sense guidelines like wearing masks.

They were committed to following CDC recommendations no matter how asinine, part of the reason I decided to take some time off 2 weeks ago.

I am one of the senior providers and most everything I do is non-emergent, I also have several Covid risk factors.

I have a young, healthy, and eager associate who intends to work as long as possible and is very grateful to have extra business.

I'm happy and blessed to have her support. On the other hand, it's been eye opening to see how resistant my ego has been to taking time off, to allowing someone else to cover for me. So many different reactions that were more powerful than I would have anticipated before Covid. Now we're under orders from the state of Maryland to only treat urgent and emergent problems so the volume of people coming in is small and easy for one person to handle.

My formal and informal practices have been my anchor. I'm slowly getting more comfortable with the perspective that this is a precious opportunity to rest the body and mind, to deepen my practices, to treat this as a retreat in the spiritual sense. For so long I've worked hard, long hours, worked through emotional and physical exhaustion. I eventually was able to navigate a way through some pretty serious burnout and was in a very good place with my professional life, albeit still very busy before Covid.

Now I have this gift of being able to simply step away and rest. I recall my teacher announcing his decision to take a year off for personal retreat just before Covid arose. I recall feeling so jealous and wishing I could have such an opportunity. Now I have that very opportunity. It's amazing, despite the fact that it may cost me or loved ones our lives. The presence of technology allows for endless opportunity for connecting with others and accessing teachings and experiences. I'm joining a daily teaching for the coming 6 days, Zoom sessions from Nepal. It was a teaching I wanted to attend in France, no remote option initially, now it is Zoom only and I'm able to attend. I'm very much looking forward to it. This past weekend I was able to attend a retreat offered by my root teacher on Zoom which I otherwise would not have attended. I'm joining in with 2 week-nightly meditation groups out of Charlottesville with many sangha sisters and brothers. It's been wonderful to connect with them. I've also begun offering online Zoom guided meditation and instruction to many of our employees who've had no previous experience and really seem to be getting some support from the practices. I'm guiding them in some very simple but profound practices - 9 Breaths of Purification and connecting to the Nature of Mind through the 3 doors of body, speech, and mind. We're furloughing and laying people off, many are still working with patients, lot's of fear and uncertainty abound. It's such a tough situation all around.

My two adult children are living with us now, quite timely that they both moved back this past year. It's so wonderful to have so much time with them. On the other hand, they both continue to see their lovers regularly so I fear exposure to the virus. I bounce between a number of emotions and thoughts about it. Do I isolate myself from them? Do I put pressure on them to change? Do I simply love them as they are and resolve myself to facing what that brings? Hard to know what the best approach is.

I'd like to share what I'm doing with my own practices. I spent about a dozen years of intensive Daoist practice then met my root teacher, in the Bön tradition. I let go of the Daoist practices nearly completely for several years. While I still prefer the Bön meditative approach to the Daoist, I've once again embraced some of the neigong, qigong, and neijia to help build physical and energetic resilience and balance. I was inspired to reach out to my Daoist master after not being in touch for a while. He has retired. His son took over his school and has essentially put up a wall between us "old guard" who used to train with and teach for his father before he took over. Most of us have departed the fold as a result of the new order brought in by the son. I still have email access to my shifu so I reached out and shared my deep appreciation and let him know what I was practicing and how important I feel it is. He shared his recommendations which were nearly identical to what I've been doing, a nice validation that his lessons had sunk in.

My Daoist teacher recommends daily practices of turtle-crane breathing, 8 brocades qigong (our version is called an "ancient" teaching and is quite distinct from other forms I've seen), and at least 30 minutes of continuous taiji form daily, and of course we always incorporate standing before and after the form for as long as we have time. He also feels that formal, seated meditation is the most important practice to engage in during this crisis.

My Bön meditation lineage recommends a tantric practice with a protector deity, Sidpai Gyalmo - Mother of Space, which has been very supportive. We recite her fierce, healing mantra which helps me to access that unbounded spaciousness. There's a lot of support and confidence in that space for me. They also recommend a variety of other mantra practices to help keep the discursive mind from robbing us of vitality and peace. Interestingly, my Bön teacher's wife, who is the daughter of a meditations master, made some recommendations for my practice in the coming year due to my turning 60. For the Tibetans, this can be the harbinger of major changes, not always positive. Ironic she told me of these things a few short weeks before Covid becoming "a thing." My core practices include 9 Breaths of Purification, 5 Tsa Lung, and resting in the Nature and these are always my first priority on a daily basis. So I've been putting a lot more time than usual into formal practices and it's been a wonderful opportunity and experience deepening my Bön practices and reconnecting with the Daoist practices. I find that the specter of potential death as my companion enhances the beauty and appreciation for all of these practices I've been lucky enough to connect with, not to mention intensifies my appreciation for essentially everything happening in life, it's so precious and has never felt more fragile.

Anyway, just some relaxed ramblings about where I'm at. It's so nice to be sharing with this group. I feel that all of you truly value and respect the perspectives and experiences of others. It makes for a very comfortable place to share.

My love and blessings to you all, may you be safe and at peace.

Now this is what I think we're missing on The Daobums...even amidst this crisis, such wonderful and heartwarming/uplifting posts.

My spiritual brothers and I have started a daily (nightly) practice of group meditation with a prayer for healing/sending loving-kindness to all beings. It seems to put us in a mental space of non-clinging/non-aversion -- just acceptance of things as they arise.

Now I don't quite understand why we didn't do the daily practice all the time, anyway.

My master has had to sequester himself and his wife in Wisconsin, given that he is 70 and his wife is in her 60s - they are at higher risk. But he facetimes with me and others, and we are staying in touch via prayer and meditation.

I'm continuing with my 4 times a week physical workout, in conjunction with taijiquan practice and seated meditation, along with mantra meditation (prayer) after my bath (a daily ritual I've had for many years now).

Love and healing prayers to all...I am very glad you all agreed to do this here. I'll get the mysterious post stuff sorted out (I think I have already...but time will tell). In the meanwhile, stay safe and healthy.

Not sure if hitting the +1 is the same as a 'like' - but some of the most wonderful things have been said here.  So I hit some +1's.

Oh!  Now I see that we should hit the 'helpful or not helpful' thingie instead.  Okay, I'm getting the hang of it.  And yes, I experienced a delay here too - I didn't think my first post showed up.

I just want to say that I feel kind of honored to be here in the midst of these wonderful minds.  I look forward to wonderful experiences here.

Think I'll start a thread.

Just got the message on the Bums not to go by the various "statuses" of moderator and participant.  So Thelerner, Steve, Manitou, Spotless, and Taomeow aren´t all moderators?  Since Dwai is admin that would of left me as the sole active "participant" at the moment.  If I need that much moderation something is dreadfully wrong!

I´m really heartened and hopeful about this conversation.  Enjoying the more personal stories of how we´re all dealing the Pandemica situation.  It feels like it allows me to get to know people and connect more, which is what I need right now.  So thanks!

It is wonderful Being here -

Reading the responses reminds me to contact my students - the need to close down classes coincided with sequestering And the problems my wife's parents are going through. So i expressed to them at the time that i would try to zoom something soon but for a while now my time was taken up in helping settle some very unsettling things.

Personally, I have been in no stress whatsoever - and in many ways I think my 12 years old son is not really experiencing stress to any great extent at this time - he has an idea of what is up - but the Chemotherapy has not begun yet and he will see the effects of that up close and personal on his grandmother whom he loves and has fun with even if he does call her a grouch - she has a knack for getting him into all sorts of things to do.

But for my wife who rarely shows stress and works tirelessly - it is as I know otherwise - for one thing, she has seen the charts of her mothers and they are not promising - and she knows full well what is about to come. Her father is an Irish Catholic from Ireland - that comes with its own set of wranglings.

For her parents (each of whom lives alone) it is scary and a venture into the unknown - and a reliance upon others that they do not engage in easily.  Also - it is tough enough as-it-is without the extra terror of a pandemic with a bullseye painted on you. And that puts an extra edge on everything we do as a family because we are constantly interacting with them physically - though i only engage now twice a week or so with her father.

My son can play but he really needs to take care and engage with others outside in a way that young kids just don't really do - until they do.

Seeing here all the mentions of practice - its time to zoom and engage - suddenly losing communication with a teacher is a difficulty as well.

My master has been undergoing great health difficulties at this time and not being able to see him has been very different than the normal closeness that I easily enjoyed. It is clearer from reading the messages that this would have to be the case for those students i am closest to - and what time of need this is for so many and a time of opportunity in practice, patience and love.

It is excellent to hear of all the practice taking place and the zoom meditations and meetings - i feel like I've been driving a covered wagon of sorts just poking along with big burning buildings in the back of the wagon - everything calm in the eye of a considerable storm.

We're getting repetitive in our advancing age.  Especially on this forum, where there's a lag between Submit and when it's posted.

Feels good being here, what a pleasant group.  Walking with my friend his stories seem very repetitive.  Probably mine are too.  We grin and bare it. Unlike our children who turn up there eyes.  It's worse then usual because is so little going on. 

We walk along, 'When I woke up, my right arm was itchy' I'll say.  My walking buddy will say 'Yeah, my left leg was, around the calf'.  And we walk on beneath gray skies, looking around, sniffing the air.  People we approach move around us, staying 6 feet away.  Walk long enough and its like being in Limbo.   Trodding on, looking, waiting..  

What I'd love to do is to add our actual photos to this forum.  I actually had my roommate take one of me that doesn't have huge bags under the eyes.  Is there a way to replace the little stick figure with a photo?  To this point, I can't figure it out. ? 

And what are the green stars for?

Also, it seems that the posts or edits are happening more in real time now.

Real time posts? 

Yes, much better!

I'd be down for adding a photo.

Maybe even set up some Zoom get togethers, practice together, share things, lots of interesting possibilities in a group that values mutual respect.

I live on the Southeast coast of Florida with my S.O. I am in my early 50's and she in her late 40's

Interestingly enough when our Governor finally decided to lock things down I was about to write him an email to the effect saying look stupid enough is enough lock it down already!  I received a resounding vibration of NO! as I was ready to hit send and then heard the word form from the vibration. When I deleted the email I heard advice from as if behind me saying be patient.

Not one hour later I looked and it turns out oddly enough that as I was getting ready to hit send he was actually making the announcement that Florida was locking down. 

My S.O.  works in a Warehouse supplying needed goods to the community and I work in I.T. for critical infrastructure.

Due to her position of working closely with many others as a trainer for people that are both old and new to the warehouse coming from different cities and counties more heavily afflicted with COVID19 for work and as a line worker repackaging boxes and pallets of goods by the thousands she has become a high risk person for contracting COVID19.

As such I have removed myself from the office in order to prevent possibly being an asymptomatic carrier of contagion and work primarily from my home office and come in after hours when others have gone home to perform the hands on tasks. 

For me this is not a huge change as I have always pretty much been described as a loner that prefers his own company, fortunately my SO is much the same and we are well mated. We pretty much ever only went out to grocery shop or go to dinner now and then or perhaps see a movie but all of those things can wait.

So far health is good for both of us and we are still employed.

The biggest problem I am still seeing is their is entirely too much unnecessary traffic on the roads when I do have to go out and these foolish, foolish people are just killing themselves and others in Florida because they can not get it their heads to park themselves at home.

Everyone was all over the Spring Breakers on the beaches and rightly so and one young kid has permanently become the spokes person for abject stupidity. I am certain you all saw him on the news. 

Sadly It is not just the younger generation but the Septuagenarians and older here in Florida that are too stupid to stay home. Sad really and I am not surprised by the rising numbers here nor the fatalities due to this highly undisciplined and reckless behavior.

This unfortunately has been predictable for a very long time now, the root cause is the same. We are pushing 8 billion people now, and the topic of overpopulation is still one no one wants to discuss let alone control the impulses of their loins.

It was my hope to have made it through this lifetime without witnessing the predicted Pandemics. Unfortunately this is not to be the case. We do however take great comfort that neither of us brought children into the world.

Just the other day I was helping a coworker set up his computer at home for remote access during a remote access session and his young boy 7 years of age was talking and his Dad was trying to get him to hush. 

I said you do realize I can hear you do you not young man? He piped up and replied in his little boy voice Yes I know you can, Laughing with my S.O. listening in over the speaker phone I said well then since we are talking how are you doing.

The sweetest and saddest words I think I have ever heard came out of his young mouth as he struggled to pronounce Corona Virus correctly and describe to me the measures we all must take to stay safe.

It broke my heart that one so young should not know the days I knew at his age but instead be afflicted with the burden of this pandemic and all the years that will follow.

The writing has been on the wall for all of my years and before yet no one took it seriously. I wonder as I look at the older generations here in Florida how they have become white of hair yet exhibit no wisdom.

For the most part I have always done what I could do, Recycle be conservative and try not to waste food, water or electricity or anything else for that matter.

Watching the people of the world I decided it was an unfit place to raise children in a time where overpopulation was rampant and pandemics were known to be coming as well as many other serious issues. Back then there were roughly 3.5 billion people now almost 8 billion.

Truth of the matter is society needs effective leadership and the United States is not and has not been lead effectively for the 50 + years I have been here and this is true of most countries.  

I feel so fortunate not to have Children to worry over and feel so much sympathy for those that do as this has to be orders magnitude much more difficult for them. 

I feel fortunate to have had 50+ years in a relatively benign world environment by comparison of today. I feel that it is okay if I contract COVID19 and die as I have had a very full life and received many lessons form it including things no words can describe especially concerning Samadhi and death. 

Do I seek to die? Am I depressed? No far from it I view every day as a blessing but one I know has to run out someday and I have had a great run have experienced love and so many, many worthwhile things, so their are no regrets.

Often I imagine how I would feel if I were in my twenties or thirties or even forties and I know the acceptance would not have been there I would have felt cheated by the way things are now angry and upset.

I feel bad for the young they have allot of years ahead of them statistically speaking where as I have few and the best years arguably are behind me. 

In the 50+ years I have been here their has been a constant and it has been one of things getting more difficult and the people loosing their humility and becoming more selfish and cold towards one another, of course where I live the people are billionaires and their poor cousins are still the entitled Millionaires so it has allot to do with it and don't even get me started on the North Eastern Disease vectors from New York who annually bring us the flue and so many other wonderful illness as they travel in their unending quest for sense gratification over the globe.

Florida is going to get allot worse before it gets better because those so enslaved by their unceasing lust for sense gratification are too restless to self shelter and ironically this very behavior is exactly what is going to cut short their time on this earth and their ability to enjoy their senses.

Truly it is easier for a Camel to pass through the eye of a needle.

These are my musings on the topic and oh yes one more thing I do wish Amazon would stop putting the food packages my S.O. has been ordering right in front of my out swinging front door. 🙂 

Hi y'all, best greetings from Czechia.

Here things are pretty much okay. It seems we ara managing quite well to flatten the curve. The daily number of new patients is falling and our ICU's seem to handle it quite well. Thank god for our health service workers and citizens. What bothers me more is the prime minister and his party using the opportunity to enrich themselves and get more power.

As for myself, life is the same. Except for baing technically out of work. People don't desire english lessons from bad english teachers during pandemics. Who would have known. ? But it gives me time to meditate and relax. So I am not complaining. 

Nice to see all of you here without the unnecessary stuff.